Men and women will say the darndest things when a marriage goes south. Words — or threats — that they may have never even thought were in their rhetorical repertoire might come out and make a stressful divorce situation even more stressful.

Money and the goal of financial security can be driving factors that impact the decisions made during a divorce. If the higher-earning party warns the other, “You will be penniless when this is all over,” the threatened party might put fear before reason and give in to the other’s wishes with the hope that submission will result in more spousal support or assets after the divorce.

Forbes shares how financial threats can endanger possible financial security for some divorcing parties. They will respond to threats out of fear without getting the facts about their legal rights. But how can someone know whether their ex is making irrational threats or stating actual possibilities regarding financial settlements?

Men and women who are going through divorce must keep in mind that neither they nor their spouse is a family law expert (assuming they don’t practice law.) Of course, it is wise for parties to research divorce matters such as alimony, asset division and child support in their state. For example, a local divorce lawyer could explain what it means to live in an equitable distribution state like Massachusetts.

Also, both parties should have their own divorce attorneys, especially if the process becomes a contentious one. Someone who is feeling threatened should discuss the financial threat with her or his own lawyer in order to determine whether the threat is an honest risk and what they can do to best protect themselves and financial interests.

Source: Forbes, “How To Cope With Your Husband’s Financial Threats During Divorce,” Jeff Landers, Jan. 8, 2014