It is all too easy to dream about the future. From the time that we are children, we imagine what our futures will look like. It is rare that anyone imagines that he or she will marry and eventually divorce. It is for this reason that many individuals suffer from a kind of post-divorce emotional whiplash. When one’s vision for the future suddenly and radically changes, it can be difficult to recover from this turn of events emotionally.

When reeling from post-divorce emotional whiplash, it is important to treat yourself kindly. You need time to mourn and grieve your vision of the future in the same ways you need time to mourn and grieve your union. During this grieving period, it is important to take good care of yourself. It is difficult enough to grieve without adding a truly poor diet, an absence of movement and other unhealthy factors into the mix.

Over time, you will be able to build a new vision for your future. Hopefully, this vision will be one that is healthy, full of happiness and informed by your past experiences. In the meantime, you may take comfort in the cliché that the grass is always greener in somebody else’s yard.

Why is this phrase comforting? History, literature and film are full of examples of individuals who are wealthy, married to a loving spouse and are still desperately unhappy. Although the cliché “life is what you make of it” can be irritating at times, ultimately this cliché and many others have roots in truth. You can be healthy and happy in your future. You “simply” have to allow yourself to be and you must be willing to work towards that new vision.

Source: The Huffington Post, “The Problem With Having Your Life All Mapped Out,” Kristin Armstrong, May 19, 2015