“More advice?” you may be asking, after reading the title of this post. If you have recently decided to divorce or have recently finalized a divorce, you have likely been given more unsolicited advice than you would prefer. Chances are that your loved ones, colleagues, acquaintances and even strangers may be giving you advice about your divorce and your children, even if you have not asked for it.

It is true, unsolicited advice can be downright aggravating for parents who are divorcing. However, some advice is worth considering. It is important to understand however that you need only consider any advice you receive from any source. Ultimately, as long as you are a law-abiding, fit and nurturing parent who has your child’s best interests at heart, any decisions that you make about your divorce and your child custody arrangements are up to you and your former spouse.

Perhaps the two most important pieces of advice that you may wish to consider are fairly straightforward. First, it is important to take excellent care of yourself during the divorce process and in the wake of the process. It is incredibly difficult to be a good parent and to make the healthiest decisions possible for your kids if you are not treating your own wellbeing with respect.

Second, understand that your children are feeling the weight of your divorce. They may not be processing it in the same ways you are, but even if your children are infants they are being affected by the host of stressors present during and after the divorce process is complete. It is therefore important to treat your children with compassion and to understand their unique needs at this time.

Source: The Huffington Post, “Remember, Your Children Are Going Through This Divorce Too,” Michelle Crosby, May 6, 2014